[a war camp is hardly romantic? not that felix has any strong opinions regarding (re: understands) romance, but it doesn't take a genius to know that a messy, muddy grouping of exhausted and/or injured soldiers is the farthest thing from picturesque. you don't woo someone in the training yard; you don't serenade someone by the cooking fire; you don't spend what precious time you have before the next battle chatting up the servants, the hangers-on, or your fellow soldiers.
and yet.
when the scullery maid finally musters up the courage to approach felix, she is, at the very least, appropriately embarrassed, refusing to meet his eye as she clutches a bit of parchment to her chest. it's annoying, really. she speaks in little more than a whisper, even when felix snaps at her to speak up; all he manages to understand is something about a letter for s-s-sir sylvain, to thank him for—well. not being able to understand that is probably a blessing in disguise, felix thinks, which turns out to be the only reason he doesn't drop said letter when it's a) abruptly shoved into his hand before its author b) abruptly makes a break for it.
felix really does have the worst luck.
but holding onto this letter that he does not want means he's probably, like, obligated to deliver it—which almost makes him drop it into the nearest fire. sylvain's business is sylvain's business! and while ingrid might shove herself into it time and time again, felix has neither the desire nor the energy to waste. sylvain is... he's just so...
...hmmph.]
If you have time to bother the women in the kitchens, then you have time to see to your equipment. Don't expect me to help you.
[A war camp is not romantic, but listen... Faerghus boys make do, which is to say that Sylvain has long since learned to make the most of what's been given! Even if what's been given is, ah... well. We'll call it 'less than ideal' and leave it at that, but for better or for worse, Sylvain will be Sylvain will be Sylvain. Sorry, Felix.
In ANY case: it isn't all that surprising for Sylvain to be the recipient of an angry message or two (or several, depending on the severity and extent of whatever misdeed inspired them) throughout his day--from friends or otherwise, for that matter. He can usually predict pretty accurately when, and from whom, he should be expecting one. But THIS one... this one blindsides him completely, because hey?? These accusations are unfounded, sir!]
Whoa, hold on!
Slow down, Felix. What women are you talking about?
[Back during his academy days, the better question might have been which women he was talking about, but that was then! He's been on his best behavior, thank you very much... his bestish, anyway.]
Did someone say something to you? Because if they did, I swear I didn't do it.
[oh my god, sylvain? just own up to your mistakes like a MAN?? or: here is felix, once again jumping to conclusions re: sylvain—because as far as felix can see it, there's only one (1) reason that a woman would blushingly entreat him, of all people, to deliver what can only be a love letter to the biggest scoundrel in all of faerghus. disgusting.]
I refuse to waste my time on your ridiculous antics.
Leave the women alone, Sylvain. Find a way to make yourself useful.
[there! take that! felix is done—except of course he isn't, because even though this letter is not his responsibility, it... is. kind of. at the very least, he doesn't want to feel a pang of guilt every time he happens to spy that stupid maid from across camp...]
You can start by delivering your own mail. I'm certainly not going to track you down.
[You know, instead of....... LITERALLY anyone else. That sounds like a great way to end up with a surplus of DOA complaints.]
Is that seriously what this is about?
What does that have to do with
[He pauses before he can send the last line, because... ah. Okay.
Some of the dots are beginning to connect themselves here. The specifics are still a bit hazy, but it at least gives Sylvain a better idea of where Felix is coming from. Like, he can at least understand why Felix is upset with him, which is already one step further than where he was!
What he can't quite make out though, is why Felix is making such a huge fuss over it... if he really felt compelled to follow through on the delivery, he could just as easily have left whatever it is someplace where Sylvain could find it, and then sent him some waspish one-off with the assumption that Sylvain would figure it out later. Quick and efficient, without getting himself involved any more than he needs to.
This is not that, by any means! So let him just... delete that last bit in favor of:]
Whatever you're thinking, it probably isn't as bad as you think it is.
And besides, I've already helped out plenty today! Don't I deserve at least a LITTLE credit?
felix renounces ownership!!! he's sending this puppy back to the pound
[let it be known that, because felix is stupid, felix is actually somewhat annoyed—offended?—by sylvain's choice of opening. who has him delivering mail? no one, that's who! no one can make felix hugo fraldarius do anything, thank you very much...
...except, of course, for felix hugo fraldarius himself, but listen: it's not his fault that he's a decent-ish person at heart. goddess forbid he chuck this letter in the fire tonight, only to find himself face-to-face with its author come the morning; like, even if it's what she deserves after being too cowardly to face sylvain herself, it's not like felix wants to watch her run off crying or something. women! always doing the most.]
Credit for what? Making a nuisance of yourself?
I haven't seen you do anything of worth.
[and felix knows everything, obviously, so there's no way sylvain has been doing actual work without him noticing! no way at all! jk it's very possible, but like hell felix is going to give sylvain even the smallest crumb when he's holding onto what is surely a stupid love letter.
(and left unwritten, but absolutely felt: it's always worse than i think it is, you fool.)]
No takesies backsies!! Should've read the fine print!!
[The fact that Felix took that as an actual question instead of Sylvain asking who ended up on the wrong end of Felix's sword is a perfect example of how terrible these two are at communication!! Be NICE!!]
Hey! That's mean, you know!
I spent some time at the stables earlier. You can even ask Ingrid if you don't believe me.
[To be read in the smug tone of someone who chose the right day of the week to play it straight. That's right buddy, he has the INGRID card!! That almost NEVER happens... too bad for Felix, that's an auto-win. Time to pack it up.
Now... whether or not he spent that time at the stables making a nuisance of himself...? Don't worry about it! He did enough that Ingrid has no reason to say otherwise, and that's all that matters here.]
Are you at LEAST going to tell me who my mysterious benefactor is...?
[let it be known that felix read this as it rolled in and was like, hey? hmm? no one, least of all sylvain, would dare use ingrid as a reference without putting in the work, because she will absolutely report when someone has not put in any work...
[That response is decidedly unhelpful, thank you Felix!! Did she have red hair? Was she wearing red? More than likely she was red-faced, but Sylvain is so used to blushing women approaching him that he sort of assumes that's a given. Granted, it's not always immediately clear whether they're thinking of him, or inflicting bodily harm upon him, but like?? Listen. That isn't important.]
Come on, you don't ACTUALLY think I would ask you to do something like that, do you?
We wouldn't even be having this conversation if she hadn't gone to you first!
[Felix would have been none-the-wiser!! Or, in other words: If it were up to me, this never would have been your problem.]
[she was RED! that should be ENOUGH! or: it isn't that felix doesn't pay attention to those around him; he does, in fact, pay attention to a select few—hence felix's annoyance as he's hit with the sylvain classic™ that is, "who? what? NOT me."
please.
anyway, as felix deals with all manner of emotions that he is NOT prepared for (because goddess forbid he deals with his Daddy Issues):]
[The Faerghus Four's Collective Issues™, Daddy-related or otherwise, could level a small village. Or even a large one, tbh. Maybe a city?
Anyway: this interrogation is uncalled for, sir?? This alleged 'red girl' could be anyone. Plot twist, the Emperor herself gave Felix the letter and he mistook her for a scullery maid bc she didn't spend enough time in the training hall. An opportunity missed, smfh.]
Hey, that isn't my fault either! I haven't been hiding from any girls lately.
As for my relationship with her... uhh, none? Probably?
[...Okay, that sounds bad. But this suddenly feels like a very familiar conversation. Very 'who was THAT girl'-esque, if you will, and while he would normally roll his eyes and let assumptions fall where they may, now that it's coming from Felix, it suddenly seems VERY important to emphasize his (general) innocence in this matter.]
Look, she's probably just some girl with a crush!
It's not like it's anything serious, Felix. Honest.
[look: felix generally doesn't care what (or, more accurately, who) sylvain does during his free time. so long as sylvain sees to his responsibilities—his training, his weaponry, his troops—felix is of the opinion that sylvain is free to gallivant around as he pleases, because who really has the right to police his behavior? his father?
pfft.
but while sylvain may have made a hobby of breaking girls' hearts, felix is far from immune to the sight of sad maids moping about—which is why he's confronting his stupid best friend, of course. right. this has everything to do with a stupid girl seeking him out for her sylvain-related problems, and absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, for the life of him, felix cannot understand why sylvain wants to keep fucking about.]
It's never anything serious with you, you idiot. That's the problem.
[c'mon, says the manchild to the manchild.]
I have more important things to do than to collect mail from your women. So does Ingrid. It's time to grow up, Sylvain.
[Okay, Sylvain had that one coming--but damn, what is this 'your women' nonsense, sir? His women? As if Sylvain actually wants them in the first place...
Which is... honestly a little bit hurtful? Like, let it be known that Sylvain Hates That, because he promptly erases whatever his initial response was going to be in favor of firing one off so quickly that it comes through almost immediately following Felix's last.]
They aren't MY women.
Come on... you know better than that.
[Which is to say that Felix knows Sylvain better than that--and Sylvain knows better than to let any of Felix's various barbs and snarls get to him, but eeeeevery now and then, there's just that one, teensy little thing that sneaks through... and then he feels bad, because Sylvain made his bed years ago, and Felix has every right to point it out to him. He's put up with more than Sylvain deserves and then some.]
Look. I'm sorry you got involved, okay? But I already told you, there's nothing going on! I seriously haven't been messing around lately.
Even if I was, it's not like I haven't done worse. Why are you getting so worked up over one letter?
[Is he, perhaps....... jealous?? 🤔]
Edited (Formatting bc I posted without rereading, sue me) 2024-02-05 08:28 (UTC)
[the simplest, smartest thing to do at this point in time is to disengage—because what is he trying to do here, anyway? what is the point of this? as annoying as dealing with one (1) woman absolutely (and strangely) was, felix isn't ingrid; he has no desire to pull sylvain around by his ear, lecturing him about the so-called "proper" way to behave, because sylvain is right: felix does know better than that.
(and maybe, just maybe, felix also knows that sylvain hasn't been "messing around" as often these days, which can surely be chalked up to a lack of energy and/or enthusiasm. war has a way of sapping people of both.)
but it goes both ways, doesn't it? if felix knows sylvain, then sylvain knows felix—and thus sylvain should know that asking felix why he's so worked up is a silly move. sir, would you poke a bear in a cage... would you stick your arm through the bars and let said bear gnaw it clean off...]
Because this letter shouldn't exist.
We march in three days, Sylvain.
[and there is the urge to add in something about responsibilities here? something about duty, which—ugh. felix can perfectly picture his father nodding in agreement; felix decides to pivot entirely, hence the very mature response that is:]
I don't want to be involved in your [what's the proper word, here? ah, yes:] sordid affairs. That's all.
[yeah!!! but also know that, somewhere across camp, an innocent bucket is kicked into a mud puddle. words, man...]
['This letter shouldn't exist' Felix says, as if Sylvain has any say in what some poor scullery maid (who would probably be absolutely mortified to find out that her letter caused THIS mess, lbr) does with her time... You know what else isn't appropriate War Etiquette? Giving someone chocolates!! Time for Felix to go sit in the corner with the rest of the kettles, smfh.
Anyway: Sylvain may not be frustrated enough to harass innocent objects, but he DOES briefly consider leaving Felix on Read so he can just get this over with and pick the damn thing up unannounced. It's not like he needs to be told where Felix is...]
I know, Felix.
Believe me, I don't need the reminder.
[Everyone knows that any battle could be their last, of course. That's just a given when it comes to war, but most people tend to consider dying a question of what if; Sylvain's always thought of it more like a when will. It makes it a little easier to understand why someone would do something silly like this.
Y'know... while they still have the chance.]
If you're already this mad about three days, then I'm just glad she didn't wait until the night before...
You can save us both the trouble of reading it and just check if there's a name inside. That way I'll know who to talk to, you'll be off the hook, and we can forget this ever happened.
I can even come train with you later!
[Turning down Miss Red in favor of hanging out with him, proof that Sylvain really has been training, AND an offer to kick his ass, aka 'an apology catered specifically to one (1) Felix Fraldarius'.]
Edited (It's amazing what a difference one / can make, thanks HTML) 2024-02-11 06:09 (UTC)
[maybe sylvain is used to being part of/caught up in The Drama? maybe SO—but listen: felix is not. when sylvain feels the urge to fly free, felix feels the urge to, like, fly closer to home—which has nothing to do with felix's core values. c'mon. let it be known that felix is always here to flash the middle finger at his family—and yet felix is also down to follow his father around faerghus, because it isn't always about saying "fuck you!" to your relatives. sometimes it's about, like, the greater good... sometimes it's about, like, figuring out what you really stand for...
...hmm.
anyway, as felix goes from the good (you need a reminder? nice. felix is here for that!) to the questionable (read this letter, felix! tell me who it's from, because it's not like i can remember everyone i've fucked!), there's at least a very peaceful silence. enjoy it, foole...
...also, though:]
I'm not reading this.
[fuck yo letter! anyway, a series of tersely worded texts:]
If you're expecting a letter from someone, then say their name. They're clearly determined to find you.
And they're clearly.
Important to you.
I can direct others to find them.
But I do not have the time to waste on your foolishness.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
he's not jealous, don't @ him
and yet.
when the scullery maid finally musters up the courage to approach felix, she is, at the very least, appropriately embarrassed, refusing to meet his eye as she clutches a bit of parchment to her chest. it's annoying, really. she speaks in little more than a whisper, even when felix snaps at her to speak up; all he manages to understand is something about a letter for s-s-sir sylvain, to thank him for—well. not being able to understand that is probably a blessing in disguise, felix thinks, which turns out to be the only reason he doesn't drop said letter when it's a) abruptly shoved into his hand before its author b) abruptly makes a break for it.
felix really does have the worst luck.
but holding onto this letter that he does not want means he's probably, like, obligated to deliver it—which almost makes him drop it into the nearest fire. sylvain's business is sylvain's business! and while ingrid might shove herself into it time and time again, felix has neither the desire nor the energy to waste. sylvain is... he's just so...
...hmmph.]
If you have time to bother the women in the kitchens, then you have time to see to your equipment. Don't expect me to help you.
[again.]
When will you grow up?
@s him immediately
In ANY case: it isn't all that surprising for Sylvain to be the recipient of an angry message or two (or several, depending on the severity and extent of whatever misdeed inspired them) throughout his day--from friends or otherwise, for that matter. He can usually predict pretty accurately when, and from whom, he should be expecting one. But THIS one... this one blindsides him completely, because hey?? These accusations are unfounded, sir!]
Whoa, hold on!
Slow down, Felix. What women are you talking about?
[Back during his academy days, the better question might have been which women he was talking about, but that was then! He's been on his best behavior, thank you very much... his bestish, anyway.]
Did someone say something to you? Because if they did, I swear I didn't do it.
[Whatever 'it' may be, he is INNOCENT.]
this slut... 🔪
I refuse to waste my time on your ridiculous antics.
Leave the women alone, Sylvain. Find a way to make yourself useful.
[there! take that! felix is done—except of course he isn't, because even though this letter is not his responsibility, it... is. kind of. at the very least, he doesn't want to feel a pang of guilt every time he happens to spy that stupid maid from across camp...]
You can start by delivering your own mail. I'm certainly not going to track you down.
He's FELIX'S slut!!
[You know, instead of....... LITERALLY anyone else. That sounds like a great way to end up with a surplus of DOA complaints.]
Is that seriously what this is about?
What does that have to do with
[He pauses before he can send the last line, because... ah. Okay.
Some of the dots are beginning to connect themselves here. The specifics are still a bit hazy, but it at least gives Sylvain a better idea of where Felix is coming from. Like, he can at least understand why Felix is upset with him, which is already one step further than where he was!
What he can't quite make out though, is why Felix is making such a huge fuss over it... if he really felt compelled to follow through on the delivery, he could just as easily have left whatever it is someplace where Sylvain could find it, and then sent him some waspish one-off with the assumption that Sylvain would figure it out later. Quick and efficient, without getting himself involved any more than he needs to.
This is not that, by any means! So let him just... delete that last bit in favor of:]
Whatever you're thinking, it probably isn't as bad as you think it is.
And besides, I've already helped out plenty today! Don't I deserve at least a LITTLE credit?
felix renounces ownership!!! he's sending this puppy back to the pound
...except, of course, for felix hugo fraldarius himself, but listen: it's not his fault that he's a decent-ish person at heart. goddess forbid he chuck this letter in the fire tonight, only to find himself face-to-face with its author come the morning; like, even if it's what she deserves after being too cowardly to face sylvain herself, it's not like felix wants to watch her run off crying or something. women! always doing the most.]
Credit for what? Making a nuisance of yourself?
I haven't seen you do anything of worth.
[and felix knows everything, obviously, so there's no way sylvain has been doing actual work without him noticing! no way at all! jk it's very possible, but like hell felix is going to give sylvain even the smallest crumb when he's holding onto what is surely a stupid love letter.
(and left unwritten, but absolutely felt: it's always worse than i think it is, you fool.)]
No takesies backsies!! Should've read the fine print!!
Hey! That's mean, you know!
I spent some time at the stables earlier. You can even ask Ingrid if you don't believe me.
[To be read in the smug tone of someone who chose the right day of the week to play it straight. That's right buddy, he has the INGRID card!! That almost NEVER happens... too bad for Felix, that's an auto-win. Time to pack it up.
Now... whether or not he spent that time at the stables making a nuisance of himself...? Don't worry about it! He did enough that Ingrid has no reason to say otherwise, and that's all that matters here.]
Are you at LEAST going to tell me who my mysterious benefactor is...?
More importantly, was she cute?
no subject
...but that last line, though. that last line.
god(dess).]
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[one second, please, as he genuinely tries to remember what that girl looked like FOR the girl's sake...]
Red.
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It's your responsibility to remember who you slept with.
I won't keep track for you.
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Come on, you don't ACTUALLY think I would ask you to do something like that, do you?
We wouldn't even be having this conversation if she hadn't gone to you first!
[Felix would have been none-the-wiser!! Or, in other words: If it were up to me, this never would have been your problem.]
no subject
please.
anyway, as felix deals with all manner of emotions that he is NOT prepared for (because goddess forbid he deals with his Daddy Issues):]
As though I wanted her to come to me first.
But she couldn't find you.
[goddess!!]
You
What is your relationship with her?
[🧙♀️🧙♀️🧙♀️]
no subject
Anyway: this interrogation is uncalled for, sir?? This alleged 'red girl' could be anyone. Plot twist, the Emperor herself gave Felix the letter and he mistook her for a scullery maid bc she didn't spend enough time in the training hall. An opportunity missed, smfh.]
Hey, that isn't my fault either! I haven't been hiding from any girls lately.
As for my relationship with her... uhh, none? Probably?
[...Okay, that sounds bad. But this suddenly feels like a very familiar conversation. Very 'who was THAT girl'-esque, if you will, and while he would normally roll his eyes and let assumptions fall where they may, now that it's coming from Felix, it suddenly seems VERY important to emphasize his (general) innocence in this matter.]
Look, she's probably just some girl with a crush!
It's not like it's anything serious, Felix. Honest.
no subject
pfft.
but while sylvain may have made a hobby of breaking girls' hearts, felix is far from immune to the sight of sad maids moping about—which is why he's confronting his stupid best friend, of course. right. this has everything to do with a stupid girl seeking him out for her sylvain-related problems, and absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, for the life of him, felix cannot understand why sylvain wants to keep fucking about.]
It's never anything serious with you, you idiot. That's the problem.
[c'mon, says the manchild to the manchild.]
I have more important things to do than to collect mail from your women. So does Ingrid. It's time to grow up, Sylvain.
Stop involving everyone in your childish games.
[and this isn't personal at all! no way!]
no subject
Which is... honestly a little bit hurtful? Like, let it be known that Sylvain Hates That, because he promptly erases whatever his initial response was going to be in favor of firing one off so quickly that it comes through almost immediately following Felix's last.]
They aren't MY women.
Come on... you know better than that.
[Which is to say that Felix knows Sylvain better than that--and Sylvain knows better than to let any of Felix's various barbs and snarls get to him, but eeeeevery now and then, there's just that one, teensy little thing that sneaks through... and then he feels bad, because Sylvain made his bed years ago, and Felix has every right to point it out to him. He's put up with more than Sylvain deserves and then some.]
Look. I'm sorry you got involved, okay? But I already told you, there's nothing going on! I seriously haven't been messing around lately.
Even if I was, it's not like I haven't done worse. Why are you getting so worked up over one letter?
[Is he, perhaps....... jealous?? 🤔]
no subject
(and maybe, just maybe, felix also knows that sylvain hasn't been "messing around" as often these days, which can surely be chalked up to a lack of energy and/or enthusiasm. war has a way of sapping people of both.)
but it goes both ways, doesn't it? if felix knows sylvain, then sylvain knows felix—and thus sylvain should know that asking felix why he's so worked up is a silly move. sir, would you poke a bear in a cage... would you stick your arm through the bars and let said bear gnaw it clean off...]
Because this letter shouldn't exist.
We march in three days, Sylvain.
[and there is the urge to add in something about responsibilities here? something about duty, which—ugh. felix can perfectly picture his father nodding in agreement; felix decides to pivot entirely, hence the very mature response that is:]
I don't want to be involved in your [what's the proper word, here? ah, yes:] sordid affairs. That's all.
[yeah!!! but also know that, somewhere across camp, an innocent bucket is kicked into a mud puddle. words, man...]
no subject
Anyway: Sylvain may not be frustrated enough to harass innocent objects, but he DOES briefly consider leaving Felix on Read so he can just get this over with and pick the damn thing up unannounced. It's not like he needs to be told where Felix is...]
I know, Felix.
Believe me, I don't need the reminder.
[Everyone knows that any battle could be their last, of course. That's just a given when it comes to war, but most people tend to consider dying a question of what if; Sylvain's always thought of it more like a when will. It makes it a little easier to understand why someone would do something silly like this.
Y'know... while they still have the chance.]
If you're already this mad about three days, then I'm just glad she didn't wait until the night before...
You can save us both the trouble of reading it and just check if there's a name inside. That way I'll know who to talk to, you'll be off the hook, and we can forget this ever happened.
I can even come train with you later!
[Turning down Miss Red in favor of hanging out with him, proof that Sylvain really has been training, AND an offer to kick his ass, aka 'an apology catered specifically to one (1) Felix Fraldarius'.]
no subject
...hmm.
anyway, as felix goes from the good (you need a reminder? nice. felix is here for that!) to the questionable (read this letter, felix! tell me who it's from, because it's not like i can remember everyone i've fucked!), there's at least a very peaceful silence. enjoy it, foole...
...also, though:]
I'm not reading this.
[fuck yo letter! anyway, a series of tersely worded texts:]
If you're expecting a letter from someone, then say their name. They're clearly determined to find you.
And they're clearly.
Important to you.
I can direct others to find them.
But I do not have the time to waste on your foolishness.
[he's!!! he's trying...]