[That response is decidedly unhelpful, thank you Felix!! Did she have red hair? Was she wearing red? More than likely she was red-faced, but Sylvain is so used to blushing women approaching him that he sort of assumes that's a given. Granted, it's not always immediately clear whether they're thinking of him, or inflicting bodily harm upon him, but like?? Listen. That isn't important.]
Come on, you don't ACTUALLY think I would ask you to do something like that, do you?
We wouldn't even be having this conversation if she hadn't gone to you first!
[Felix would have been none-the-wiser!! Or, in other words: If it were up to me, this never would have been your problem.]
[she was RED! that should be ENOUGH! or: it isn't that felix doesn't pay attention to those around him; he does, in fact, pay attention to a select few—hence felix's annoyance as he's hit with the sylvain classic™ that is, "who? what? NOT me."
please.
anyway, as felix deals with all manner of emotions that he is NOT prepared for (because goddess forbid he deals with his Daddy Issues):]
[The Faerghus Four's Collective Issues™, Daddy-related or otherwise, could level a small village. Or even a large one, tbh. Maybe a city?
Anyway: this interrogation is uncalled for, sir?? This alleged 'red girl' could be anyone. Plot twist, the Emperor herself gave Felix the letter and he mistook her for a scullery maid bc she didn't spend enough time in the training hall. An opportunity missed, smfh.]
Hey, that isn't my fault either! I haven't been hiding from any girls lately.
As for my relationship with her... uhh, none? Probably?
[...Okay, that sounds bad. But this suddenly feels like a very familiar conversation. Very 'who was THAT girl'-esque, if you will, and while he would normally roll his eyes and let assumptions fall where they may, now that it's coming from Felix, it suddenly seems VERY important to emphasize his (general) innocence in this matter.]
Look, she's probably just some girl with a crush!
It's not like it's anything serious, Felix. Honest.
[look: felix generally doesn't care what (or, more accurately, who) sylvain does during his free time. so long as sylvain sees to his responsibilities—his training, his weaponry, his troops—felix is of the opinion that sylvain is free to gallivant around as he pleases, because who really has the right to police his behavior? his father?
pfft.
but while sylvain may have made a hobby of breaking girls' hearts, felix is far from immune to the sight of sad maids moping about—which is why he's confronting his stupid best friend, of course. right. this has everything to do with a stupid girl seeking him out for her sylvain-related problems, and absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, for the life of him, felix cannot understand why sylvain wants to keep fucking about.]
It's never anything serious with you, you idiot. That's the problem.
[c'mon, says the manchild to the manchild.]
I have more important things to do than to collect mail from your women. So does Ingrid. It's time to grow up, Sylvain.
[Okay, Sylvain had that one coming--but damn, what is this 'your women' nonsense, sir? His women? As if Sylvain actually wants them in the first place...
Which is... honestly a little bit hurtful? Like, let it be known that Sylvain Hates That, because he promptly erases whatever his initial response was going to be in favor of firing one off so quickly that it comes through almost immediately following Felix's last.]
They aren't MY women.
Come on... you know better than that.
[Which is to say that Felix knows Sylvain better than that--and Sylvain knows better than to let any of Felix's various barbs and snarls get to him, but eeeeevery now and then, there's just that one, teensy little thing that sneaks through... and then he feels bad, because Sylvain made his bed years ago, and Felix has every right to point it out to him. He's put up with more than Sylvain deserves and then some.]
Look. I'm sorry you got involved, okay? But I already told you, there's nothing going on! I seriously haven't been messing around lately.
Even if I was, it's not like I haven't done worse. Why are you getting so worked up over one letter?
[Is he, perhaps....... jealous?? 🤔]
Edited (Formatting bc I posted without rereading, sue me) 2024-02-05 08:28 (UTC)
[the simplest, smartest thing to do at this point in time is to disengage—because what is he trying to do here, anyway? what is the point of this? as annoying as dealing with one (1) woman absolutely (and strangely) was, felix isn't ingrid; he has no desire to pull sylvain around by his ear, lecturing him about the so-called "proper" way to behave, because sylvain is right: felix does know better than that.
(and maybe, just maybe, felix also knows that sylvain hasn't been "messing around" as often these days, which can surely be chalked up to a lack of energy and/or enthusiasm. war has a way of sapping people of both.)
but it goes both ways, doesn't it? if felix knows sylvain, then sylvain knows felix—and thus sylvain should know that asking felix why he's so worked up is a silly move. sir, would you poke a bear in a cage... would you stick your arm through the bars and let said bear gnaw it clean off...]
Because this letter shouldn't exist.
We march in three days, Sylvain.
[and there is the urge to add in something about responsibilities here? something about duty, which—ugh. felix can perfectly picture his father nodding in agreement; felix decides to pivot entirely, hence the very mature response that is:]
I don't want to be involved in your [what's the proper word, here? ah, yes:] sordid affairs. That's all.
[yeah!!! but also know that, somewhere across camp, an innocent bucket is kicked into a mud puddle. words, man...]
['This letter shouldn't exist' Felix says, as if Sylvain has any say in what some poor scullery maid (who would probably be absolutely mortified to find out that her letter caused THIS mess, lbr) does with her time... You know what else isn't appropriate War Etiquette? Giving someone chocolates!! Time for Felix to go sit in the corner with the rest of the kettles, smfh.
Anyway: Sylvain may not be frustrated enough to harass innocent objects, but he DOES briefly consider leaving Felix on Read so he can just get this over with and pick the damn thing up unannounced. It's not like he needs to be told where Felix is...]
I know, Felix.
Believe me, I don't need the reminder.
[Everyone knows that any battle could be their last, of course. That's just a given when it comes to war, but most people tend to consider dying a question of what if; Sylvain's always thought of it more like a when will. It makes it a little easier to understand why someone would do something silly like this.
Y'know... while they still have the chance.]
If you're already this mad about three days, then I'm just glad she didn't wait until the night before...
You can save us both the trouble of reading it and just check if there's a name inside. That way I'll know who to talk to, you'll be off the hook, and we can forget this ever happened.
I can even come train with you later!
[Turning down Miss Red in favor of hanging out with him, proof that Sylvain really has been training, AND an offer to kick his ass, aka 'an apology catered specifically to one (1) Felix Fraldarius'.]
Edited (It's amazing what a difference one / can make, thanks HTML) 2024-02-11 06:09 (UTC)
[maybe sylvain is used to being part of/caught up in The Drama? maybe SO—but listen: felix is not. when sylvain feels the urge to fly free, felix feels the urge to, like, fly closer to home—which has nothing to do with felix's core values. c'mon. let it be known that felix is always here to flash the middle finger at his family—and yet felix is also down to follow his father around faerghus, because it isn't always about saying "fuck you!" to your relatives. sometimes it's about, like, the greater good... sometimes it's about, like, figuring out what you really stand for...
...hmm.
anyway, as felix goes from the good (you need a reminder? nice. felix is here for that!) to the questionable (read this letter, felix! tell me who it's from, because it's not like i can remember everyone i've fucked!), there's at least a very peaceful silence. enjoy it, foole...
...also, though:]
I'm not reading this.
[fuck yo letter! anyway, a series of tersely worded texts:]
If you're expecting a letter from someone, then say their name. They're clearly determined to find you.
And they're clearly.
Important to you.
I can direct others to find them.
But I do not have the time to waste on your foolishness.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's your responsibility to remember who you slept with.
I won't keep track for you.
no subject
Come on, you don't ACTUALLY think I would ask you to do something like that, do you?
We wouldn't even be having this conversation if she hadn't gone to you first!
[Felix would have been none-the-wiser!! Or, in other words: If it were up to me, this never would have been your problem.]
no subject
please.
anyway, as felix deals with all manner of emotions that he is NOT prepared for (because goddess forbid he deals with his Daddy Issues):]
As though I wanted her to come to me first.
But she couldn't find you.
[goddess!!]
You
What is your relationship with her?
[🧙♀️🧙♀️🧙♀️]
no subject
Anyway: this interrogation is uncalled for, sir?? This alleged 'red girl' could be anyone. Plot twist, the Emperor herself gave Felix the letter and he mistook her for a scullery maid bc she didn't spend enough time in the training hall. An opportunity missed, smfh.]
Hey, that isn't my fault either! I haven't been hiding from any girls lately.
As for my relationship with her... uhh, none? Probably?
[...Okay, that sounds bad. But this suddenly feels like a very familiar conversation. Very 'who was THAT girl'-esque, if you will, and while he would normally roll his eyes and let assumptions fall where they may, now that it's coming from Felix, it suddenly seems VERY important to emphasize his (general) innocence in this matter.]
Look, she's probably just some girl with a crush!
It's not like it's anything serious, Felix. Honest.
no subject
pfft.
but while sylvain may have made a hobby of breaking girls' hearts, felix is far from immune to the sight of sad maids moping about—which is why he's confronting his stupid best friend, of course. right. this has everything to do with a stupid girl seeking him out for her sylvain-related problems, and absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, for the life of him, felix cannot understand why sylvain wants to keep fucking about.]
It's never anything serious with you, you idiot. That's the problem.
[c'mon, says the manchild to the manchild.]
I have more important things to do than to collect mail from your women. So does Ingrid. It's time to grow up, Sylvain.
Stop involving everyone in your childish games.
[and this isn't personal at all! no way!]
no subject
Which is... honestly a little bit hurtful? Like, let it be known that Sylvain Hates That, because he promptly erases whatever his initial response was going to be in favor of firing one off so quickly that it comes through almost immediately following Felix's last.]
They aren't MY women.
Come on... you know better than that.
[Which is to say that Felix knows Sylvain better than that--and Sylvain knows better than to let any of Felix's various barbs and snarls get to him, but eeeeevery now and then, there's just that one, teensy little thing that sneaks through... and then he feels bad, because Sylvain made his bed years ago, and Felix has every right to point it out to him. He's put up with more than Sylvain deserves and then some.]
Look. I'm sorry you got involved, okay? But I already told you, there's nothing going on! I seriously haven't been messing around lately.
Even if I was, it's not like I haven't done worse. Why are you getting so worked up over one letter?
[Is he, perhaps....... jealous?? 🤔]
no subject
(and maybe, just maybe, felix also knows that sylvain hasn't been "messing around" as often these days, which can surely be chalked up to a lack of energy and/or enthusiasm. war has a way of sapping people of both.)
but it goes both ways, doesn't it? if felix knows sylvain, then sylvain knows felix—and thus sylvain should know that asking felix why he's so worked up is a silly move. sir, would you poke a bear in a cage... would you stick your arm through the bars and let said bear gnaw it clean off...]
Because this letter shouldn't exist.
We march in three days, Sylvain.
[and there is the urge to add in something about responsibilities here? something about duty, which—ugh. felix can perfectly picture his father nodding in agreement; felix decides to pivot entirely, hence the very mature response that is:]
I don't want to be involved in your [what's the proper word, here? ah, yes:] sordid affairs. That's all.
[yeah!!! but also know that, somewhere across camp, an innocent bucket is kicked into a mud puddle. words, man...]
no subject
Anyway: Sylvain may not be frustrated enough to harass innocent objects, but he DOES briefly consider leaving Felix on Read so he can just get this over with and pick the damn thing up unannounced. It's not like he needs to be told where Felix is...]
I know, Felix.
Believe me, I don't need the reminder.
[Everyone knows that any battle could be their last, of course. That's just a given when it comes to war, but most people tend to consider dying a question of what if; Sylvain's always thought of it more like a when will. It makes it a little easier to understand why someone would do something silly like this.
Y'know... while they still have the chance.]
If you're already this mad about three days, then I'm just glad she didn't wait until the night before...
You can save us both the trouble of reading it and just check if there's a name inside. That way I'll know who to talk to, you'll be off the hook, and we can forget this ever happened.
I can even come train with you later!
[Turning down Miss Red in favor of hanging out with him, proof that Sylvain really has been training, AND an offer to kick his ass, aka 'an apology catered specifically to one (1) Felix Fraldarius'.]
no subject
...hmm.
anyway, as felix goes from the good (you need a reminder? nice. felix is here for that!) to the questionable (read this letter, felix! tell me who it's from, because it's not like i can remember everyone i've fucked!), there's at least a very peaceful silence. enjoy it, foole...
...also, though:]
I'm not reading this.
[fuck yo letter! anyway, a series of tersely worded texts:]
If you're expecting a letter from someone, then say their name. They're clearly determined to find you.
And they're clearly.
Important to you.
I can direct others to find them.
But I do not have the time to waste on your foolishness.
[he's!!! he's trying...]